As summer ended, I started to miss writing. I scratched the itch in September with my last post, but then I ignored that itch while hibernating through winter. Time flew faster than I thought it would, and here we are in spring again.

Yesterday was the eclipse. Where I’m at, it was a 99.9% totality, and since I missed the one in 2017, I was pretty excited to see it! I ran around at work making sure everyone got a pair of glasses and had a chance to walk away to go outside and look.

However, some people just didn’t care. How?? This is an amazing natural event occurring that and you’re just shrugging it off? To each their own, but I did stop and think “Am I making too big of a deal over this? Am I too excited? Too much?”

I always grappled with the idea that I was immature for enjoying the small awe-struck moments of human life. I thought it was an adult thing to not make a big deal out of cool stuff- a “been there done that” kind of vibe. I feared that it was annoying to those around me to show my enthusiasm for what others would just acknowledge and move on about.

I’ve experienced this internal struggle in the past, but always came to the conclusion that I can grow up, but I will fiercely hold my right to experience life with a youthful gaze.

So, with the eclipse past us, I wanted to put out this reminder that although we are getting older, life itself is a once in a lifetime experience. We only get to do this once. Shamelessly and enthusiastically find joy in the days around you. Do not convince yourself that the more mature way to live is to stifle that childlike wonder we all have inside us. Embrace it.

Go to your job, handle your shit, but don’t blind yourself to the joys in life in the name of being an adult. Going through hard things does not mean you need to be hardened.

Think of yourself as dough being kneaded in order to rise. Once put through the heat, it is still soft on the inside. If I was a poet, I would describe that more elegantly, but I like to get to the point of things.

Stay soft. Find the wonder.

Love and light,

B

Update 06/25 – I meant to post this, but became self conscious and only saved it as a draft. Why? I don’t know. Too mushy? Too uplifting and feel good? I can’t remember. And then I forgot about this altogether. I came back onto the blog out of curiosity – I got the writing itch again. The insecurity I felt when I originally wrote this has waned; so I’m publishing it now. Can anyone else relate?

Love and light,

B